Sweet Annie

Tonight I write this blog with such a heavy heart full of sadness and strangely some happiness too. After 18 years with my sweet Annie, she has passed on today.
I remember the first time I saw her and rescued her from the filth and horrible conditions she was in at birth. My daughter, Britney and I picked her scrawny muddy filthy body up and placed her in the back seat and drove the hour home, all the while promising her she would have a better life and we would be there to love her and she wouldn't have to worry about food, shelter or love ever again. We nursed her through the parvo and made sure she had her shots immediately. She was so grateful, is really the best way to say how she treated our family as she grew into her lab life. She was always nurturing others; cats, kids when they cried, me when I was sick... and she never once asked for anything more than her food, water, a few Oreos snuck in occasionally and a bed to sleep on. I have rarely found a another soul that would/could give so much of themselves as Annie did. She was easily the kindest dog I've ever known, thus earning the name "Sweet Baby Girl".  She had this amazing personality full of spunk and adventure but was always there the minute a kid cried, someone was sick or there was that knock on the door. There was no doubt with any of the other animals that she was in charge of our household. She loved the water, often jumping off the reservoir bridge early in the morning before the kids even got out of bed, I once snapped a picture of her standing on the river bank staring off into the sunrise, wet from her early morning swim, she seemed to be at peace as she stood there seemingly watching the sun rise before she realized I was there watching her. She was so sensitive and kind that when her buddy, Daisy was killed in a freak accident, she refused to eat for days until we had to take her to the vet for intervention. She was so fierce and protective when I needed someone to stand with me to protect the kids, she refused to let anyone bring harm to them often putting herself in the way so that the kids were shielded. During my illness after my accident, she would crawl into bed with me and curl up against my hip or lay her head on my shoulder and let out these big sighs, as if to tell me it would all be okay. She came to the bed each day I layed there unable to care for myself or anyone else and she would put her cold nose on me as if to let me know she was there to care for me now, she would see me through it. I am not sure how I would've made it through all those days without her kindness and constant companionship. She was steadfast in resolve and made sure her family was ok for 18 years. She watched other "friends" pass on during her tenor never once losing site of her kids and her "duties". As she rounded 18 this year we asked ourselves if she would go out in the river again or even on the boat. Each day brought a new set of circumstances for her from slowing down and losing her hearing, to not being able to walk or climb up the stairs. Growing old had become such a chore and with not much dignity involved. Each day I would tell her, "it's okay if you want to go now, you have done your job well and I love you". But yet she held on each day. Maybe it was the treats each day, the random bowl of ice cream she got to finish at night or even just laying there with me getting scratched. I don't know why she didn't let go, I won't ever know why but I knew I had to pay my friend back for all her kindness and unselfish love and do the honorable thing and let her go.  As I carried her to the truck she just looked up at me with those big soft brown eyes of hers and as I layed her down on the vet table to send her off, she refused to move her eyes from me. As my tears fell onto her face and nose, I watched my longtime friend and companion slip away. I pray that tonight she is is with our other dogs, running through the tall wildflowers like she did as a puppy, chasing away the day jumping in the river and going for swims with no more pain. Goodbye my friend. Thank you for all your love and the lessons you have taught me these past 18 years. I will carry you forever in my heart.